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How Not To Be An Awful Bridesmaid 101

Here’s something special: your friend is about to embark on one of the greatest adventures of her life; and she wants you by her side. 

Don’t take that lightly. Take a minute to think about that; she really loves you. 

Being a bridesmaid is not always an easy job. If you’ve been a bridesmaid, you know why that is and just how hard it can be. That is why we are going to talk about a few golden rules for how you can be the world’s best bridesmaid and friend. 


Allow me to stress this for a moment.

There are days that are about you.  And then there are days that are not about you. That is the most important thing to remember. Today is all about the bride. 

This is true for anyone in the wedding industry, for the families of the bride and groom, for the wedding guests, for anyone in the bridal party. 

It’s about the flowers she wants. It’s about the hairpiece that she loves. It’s about the color scheme that she’s always pictured. It’s about each and every random detail that she cares about. 

2. Black and white? Your job is to be her friend.

 Every friendship is different; I can’t tell you how your friendships works, but you know. 

Real talk: weddings don’t always bring out the best in people. (Sometimes they do, but not always). 

You know your friend, you love her,  and you know how you can best be her friend through this. Key point to remember here is to show her grace. Her stomach’s in knots. She’s excited.  She might be a bit stressed. Maybe she’s scared.  Maybe no one is siding with her. Girl, she’s getting married; this is huge.

If you’ll hear only one thing in this post, I want it to be this: show her grace. She needs it today.   

3. “Do you tell them if there’s something in their teeth?”

Here are a few examples of what that might mean in context: 

  • The bride just tried on a dress that she loves. You think it’s awful. 

  • She went “bridezilla” for a minute and is currently cussing out her photographer.

  • She didn’t invite someone who YOU really think should be invited. 

  • She actually has something in her teeth.

  • She’s skipping the traditional bouquet toss, but you think it needs to stay.

I could continue this list all day, but instead let’s review points 1 and 2: “Support the Bride” and “Be Her Friend.”

Being her friend also means supporting her by helping her not make choices and say things that she will regret. 

Your default should always be to support her wishes.

  • If you hate the dress just because it isn’t your style, then get over it. It’s about her style, not yours. End of the day, if she actually loves the dress, then that’s what you want her to wear. 

  • Help her not be a bridezilla.  Being on her side doesn’t mean you back her up when she’s being a jerk to the staff for no reason. Capiche? It means being her friend, which might sometimes mean helping her calm down. (“Sun’s getting real low.”)  

  • Tradition is not the law. What the bride wants is the law. If she doesn’t feel the need to invite some third cousin twice removed whom she hasn’t seen in 8 years, that’s her choice. 

  • Okay, yes, duh, tell her there’s something in her teeth. Friends don’t let friends take pictures with spinach in their teeth. This is not news. 

  • Once again, tradition is not law. She wants to skip the bouquet toss, that is A-ok. Support her. 

4. Have fun! 

She asked you to be in her wedding because she thinks you’re cool and she cares about you. Make a few questionable choices if you feel like it. Have fun. Make memories.

In summary, be her friend. That’s it. Don’t lose sight of what being a friend means, and you’ll kill this bridesmaid thing. 

Questions?  Comments? Go for it. Hit me up in the comments or in a message. I gotchoo. 

– Moriah

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